Debunking the Mythology of Aging

UU Summer service, July 13, 2008

On July 13, 2008 Barbara Rich shared some current research on aging, with a view to shaking up our fixed beliefs about the process — especially if those beliefs don’t serve us. Much of this material is from Lessons from the Centenarians, research from Harvard Medical School, and from Wellness Gerontology at the University of Texas.

From the New England Centenarian Study, Harvard Medical School:

Myth: Genetics determine longevity

Status: False

Only 20-30% of our health is determined by our genetic inheritance. The older the centenarians get, the healthier they’ve been.

Myth: All stress is harmful

Status: False

Research in psycho-neuro-immunology (PNI) indicates that the weight/interpretation you give to stress determines how much harm it will do. Stress causes harm by the weight given it by the recipient. Short term stress, like being excited about something is very good for us. If the stress is appropriate to the circumstances (like protecting a child) it’s good for the immune system.

Thoughts of and expressions of “How dare you!” of “She should have… ” are bad stress!

Myth: Teetotalers are healthier

Status: False

Many centenarians consume alcoholic beverages in moderation and use it as part of their rituals. Studies show that women who drink moderately have fewer incidences of hypertension and cardiovascular problems.

Myth: Anger should be avoided

Status: False

Psychoneuroimmunology research shows that short expression of righteous anger reduces blood pressure and increases immune function.

Myth: If you live long enough, you will die of cancer of one sort or another

Status: False

There is little or no cancer found in the population studied. They also do not die of prolonged illnesses nor are they as affected by systemic deteriorating illnesses.

Myth: Aging brain equals deteriorating mind

Status: False

Alzheimer’s research shows differences between brain deterioration and cognitive functioning after postmortem evidence. Men and women in their 90’s were cognitively better than those in their 70’s and 80’s.

The immune system and the nervous system are not ruled by our intellect. They are governed by bio-cognition (mind/body/spirit). Health in the immune and nervous systems happen in the biological field.

Clinical psychologists say that across cultures, we experience three different kinds of wounds:

• Shame;
• Betrayal;
• Abandonment.

The immune system responds to all 3 wounds by becoming helpless and then we learn to speak “woundology”:

• With shame and embarrassment we get red in the face.
• With abandonment, we feel cold.
• With betrayal, we feel angry and tricked.

Centenarians empower themselves in many ways:

• They ask, What can I do for myself that nobody can do for me? What can others do for me that I can't do for myself?
• They are rebels, rule-breakers, they do not believe in the myths of aging, do not necessarily follow doctor's suggestions. They are high on the intuitive abilities: considering information from authorities and then deciding with their own inner wisdom. They tend to think of conventional medicine as cultural, not science.
• They set benign limits to caretaking others. Caretakers don't live long. Without setting good emotional limits, we often get autoimmune diseases.
• They practice inclusive compassion. While anticipating the needs of others, they also take care of their own needs.
• They use rituals (a drink, a smoke, waking up, going to sleep, family time). Rituals are stress reducers.
• They don't abuse what they love. If they love food, they take great pleasure in eating.
• They create healthy narcissism. They have healthy, joyful plans for the future.
• The ritual of breaking bread with others or making a candle-lit dinner for themselves is important. They tell us we need 6-7 people in our lives to share our joy, and with whom we share rituals. Rituals define who we are.

  (In Rosetta, Pennsylvania, the older Italian community had been practicing their rituals, and when the next generation abandoned the rituals of their parents, cardiovascular disease went way up.)

Habits and tendencies of centenarians:

• Centenarians celebrate family gatherings.
• They call people from the past and honor them.
• They feel worthy, and deserving. They accept their greatness, and are not afraid of death.
• They have control over their own lives.
• They have a commitment to something outside of themselves.
• They see problems with a positive outlook.
• They live their lives free from concepts such as retirement, middle age, and feebleness
• They live to enjoy rather than to live long.
• They have no idea why they've lived so long
• They have purpose and find meaning in their lives.
• They believed they are loved by most, and they forgive easily,
• They are immune to prolonged shame, abandonment and betrayal.
• They find a source of wisdom and love in their communities.
• They have low levels of regrets and lamenting.

Barbara finished with three readings.

• Mahatma Gandhi: “We tend to become what we believe.”
• From If they come in the night by Marge Piercy:

  I said, I like my life. If I
  have to give it back, if they
  take it from me, let me only
  not feel I wasted any, let me
  not feel I forgot to love anyone
  I meant to love, that I forgot
  to give what I held in my hands,
  that I forgot to do some little
  piece of the work that wanted
  to come through.

• From Querencia: The power of the pause by Tara Brach:

  “In bullfighting there is an interesting parallel to the pause as a refuge and renewal. It is believed that in the midst of a fight, a bull can find his own area of safety in the arena. There he can reclaim his strength and power. This place and inner state are called his querencia. As long as the bull remains enraged and reactive, the matador is in charge. Yet when he finds querencia, he gathers his strength and loses his fear. From the matador’s perspective, at this point the bull is truly dangerous, for he has tapped into his power.”